Be brave, Little One.

I’ll warn you, the “J-count” is way up in this post. 

We’re on our flight home, my fourth ever airplane ride. On this trip I got to experience 4 take offs, and (hopefully) 4 landings; so far, so good.  Flying is so cool, this massive collection of metal, wires, buttons, gears, and people is hoisted into the sky. If you stop to think about it, it’s pretty incredible that that’s even possible.                                        

Being brave really has its perks.

I’d leave that statement there if I had previously been more vocal about the “brave” mandate that has been put on my life. However, since I haven’t been so vocal, allow me to explain:
Many years ago at a youth conference, (Snocamp for my Shenstoners who may be reading this), I was given the verse “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear for the Lord your God goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6. I knew I liked it, and I felt like it was just for me… I didn’t think much of it for a few years, until last summer in fact.
Sarah and I were working as the Freedom House summer students, going about our business up in the FH office one day, and I took this picture:

                                                                                                                           

Everyone loved it. I heard so many times how it was a perfect depiction of who I am and who I was becoming. I didn’t think too much of it, I just thought it looked cool… Within a few days, it was my birthday and Nicki had made a special trip to the office that day with cupcakes, (she’s a pretty cool boss), and somewhere in the conversation that morning, she turned to me, turned back to the letters and said something along the lines of “Oh yah, I meant to tell you: that’s going to be important.”
I can’t remember my exact response, but being my old sassy, know-it-all, insecure self, I’m sure there was an “mhmm” accompanied by an eye roll. Over a year and a half later, I can’t tell you how right she was...(Sorry Nic!). It wasn’t long after that things about being brave began showing up in my life, randomly. Including the release of the single “You Make Me Brave” on Bethel’s website which was oddly released way sooner than the album; I think I made Sarah listen to the song about 100 times a day from that day on.  My friend’s mom even said I was comparable to a modern Joan of Arc, I still think that’s a bit far fetch but it was just another piece of confirmation I needed to know that the call on my life was to be brave.

Now, that would be cool and all, if I wasn’t so afraid of … well, everything. I’ve never been the girl to take risks, try new things, or intentionally ruffle the world’s feathers. That’s changing more quickly than I’d care to admit as I keep learning more and more about who I am and who I’ve been created to be.

All my life I’ve joked that I wanted to change the world, it wasn’t until recently that I realized that that was even possible. The reality is though, that that is the reality. I can, I am, and I will change the world. I don’t think I’m going to become an internationally known leader, or distinguished humanitarian, or go down as a legendary speaker. I think my claim to fame, if you will, will be much more of a ripple effect: one small act causing a change in someone else’s life.
Isn’t that how large vessels are moved anyways? one degree at a time?

I think, and I’m hoping that my ripple effect will be caused by the kids and youth, I work with in the future. Or maybe even the ones I’ve already worked with.

I made a quick mention to wanting to open a youth home in my last post. I need you all reading this to know that that has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. I want to create a place that exists to teach and illustrate a healthy lifestyle for youth who may not be learning key life skills at home, well, more so the lack there of a home.
My trip to the Dream Center this past week showed me that I’m not the only one who out here in this world that believes that’s possible. The home for emancipated youth here operates under many of the same core values I would, with the same goals and objectives in place to propel the youth on to the best plan for success possible.

I believe so much in kids and youth, and the infinite potential they have inside them, just waiting to be cultivated and encouraged.  As sad as it is to say, I firmly believe that society has killed our ability as humans to dream. To seek out, engage, and pursue our passions. We’ve been made to think that our crazy dreams are too crazy to ever been reached, that dreams can’t be goals and that they’re just a distant idea existing on the back burner in a fairy-tale like recess of our minds. 

Quite frankly, I’ve had enough of people telling others, kids especially, that their dreams are too big and consequently stupid and unattainable causing them to give up before they’ve even had a chance to try. I am so thankful for the people in my life who have always encouraged me to follow my passions!

Since the day it came out I’ve been completely infatuated with Steffany Gretzinger’s album “The Undoing”, a line in one of the songs says “I learned that love don’t hold its tongue and passion doesn’t bow to what they think…sometimes it’s painful to be brave, to look fear in the face…” She’s so right.

My trip to LA was by far one of the best choices I’ve ever made. Hear and obey, right? No wonder our lives go so much better when we listen to God and follow the plan He’s already got. I don’t know when it’s going to happen, or even if it’ll be me to do it, but I know that the youth population of Brantford will subsequently be impacted, eventually, by what I learned on this trip.

I want a place to exist in Brantford for kids, especially those who have been phased out, forgotten about, left behind, or who even have aged-out of the foster care system to have a place they can go, be sent to, or to find, that will embrace who they are and help them become the healthy, responsible, passion-pursuing adults they were meant to be. I want the cycle of kids who have been forgotten about and become our homeless, drug-addicted, or impoverished adults to finally come to an end. I want to tackle the problem at the roots before it has a chance to even consider flourishing. I want to change the world, one kid at a time.

So that’s my dream, what’s yours?

#FHDCLAmissions

Tuesday
LA, L-L-A. 

I believe if you were to continue the song it would go “what the hell am I doing drinking in LA at 26”, however, I’m fairly certain for the day and a half that I’ve been here so far it would go “what the hell am I doing dreaming in LA at 21”. This morning I was fortunate enough to get to check out the Dream Center’s home for emancipated youth, it’s not fully running but it is well on its way. They have been open since August and have 9 of the possible 80 youth they’re fitted to house.

Before I boarded the plane yesterday morning, I’ll admit I wasn’t 100% sure why I was coming here. I knew I wanted to see what I could learn about the emancipated youth program to see how I could apply their strategies to Brantford one day. Very quickly I learned that this just a small piece of why I was here. I got to meet two of the youth already staying at the home, hear who they were, who they are and who they want to be.
Hearing their stories further confirmed for me just how much I want to enhance the programs, and create whatever I need to do to help youth. If you’ve ever heard anyone’s story who struggles with addictions, poverty, or even abuse, I’ll bet you’ve heard how it started with them between the ages of 12 and 18. Maybe they told you it started with a parent, and consequently they picked up the habit. I’d put money on that being the case 85% of the time, I have legitimate statistics but don’t have the time to pull them up and incorporate them in this post…as you can as imagine it’s been busy around here!
I want to help facilitate breaking those cycles, stopping the problem at the roots instead of worrying about dealing with the problem once they’re adults with children of their own.
Of that 85%, a vast majority of the individuals are those who came from broken homes and the foster care system. I’d be alright if I got to spend the rest of my life teaching those kids how to become responsible adults, because really, when you think about many, not all, but many, of the kids that are “aging-out” of the foster care are handed their stuff and sent on their way. Not cool. Most of the never having learned any form of responsibility to begin with... There's so much I could say but my internet time is mucho limited.

OH!  Did I mention the home for emancipated youth is called Freedom House? ...Coincidence, I think not!

PS we worked with the food trucks this afternoon, met some awesome people. Such a great time!!!
I wish I had time to tell you in the detail I wish I could! Gaaaahh!

Wednesday

Our morning was spent working Project Prevention, the foster care intervention program here at the Dream Center. We delivered a large crate, and a couple bags of groceries to 4 local families, of whom, without this food would be at risk of losing the children in their homes.  It was a great, and humbling experience. Being here however has made me wish I had seriously invested in learning spanish. The language barrier is a lot more real than I had anticipated.
Our sunny California afternoon passed on Venice Beach, half our team handed out hot dogs, and the other half walked down the boulevard to spread the word of the food down the way. The homeless population here is unreal...it's an incredibly humbling experience to serve them.

We spent our touristy time tonight on Rodeo Dr, I lost one of my favourite sweaters and then ran around like a crazy person trying to find it.. I've never prayer about finding a piece of clothing before, but I did last night -- but I got it back. And that's freaking sweet.

Thursday
Soooo I'm a little sleepy today. but adrenaline and caffeine are my friends..
This morning the women worked in the clothing giveaway "His hands extended", it's was really cool. We helped a ton of families get clothes for themselves and their children. I made friends with a few little spanish kids along the way while their moms shopped.
This afternoon we went down to Skid Row....wow. 10 straight blocks of homelessness.
I can't put in into the right words in the time I have tonight...


...
We're wrapping up, but for now, I'll leave you with this:
My eyes have been opened, dreams have been become plans, and relationships have been built.
I have been sooooo fortunate to work alongside an unbelievable team this week.
Can't wait to see whats in store for the rest of this week!!
AND
I can't wait to tell you all so, so, so much more.

I dropped out of school, quit my job, and here's what's next...

Over the past 6 months, my life has seen a massive reroute.

Think about when you're driving somewhere you've never been before, but you feel like you have an idea of how to get there? And so you ignore the GPS thinking you know better, only to get more lost, feel defeated and finally submit to following your GPS that, though annoying, was leading you the right way all along?

That's kind of what my life looks like right now. 

It's a season of rerouting and only making turns that come with warning 200 meters before hand. It's trusting there's a master plan for my life, and listening to that feeling in my gut, for those of us at Freedom House, we call that hear and obey. I've been hearing for a while, with very little obeying, hoping that my mental map would be better than the pre-programmed GPS my life came with. 

Here's a timeline for all of you who may not be up to date, it's not refined, and it's not conclusive, it's not even all that pretty, there are some parts of it that if I could go back, I'd seek the same outcome but handle them a little differently along the way. But shame gets no one anywhere so I wont waste my time on that.
Oh and don't worry, a lot has happened very quickly and I haven't been very vocal. I've felt like I need answers to the "well, that's all fine and dandy, but what's next?" and so, by the end of this, you'll know just about as much as I do:

March - slowly stopped attending my classes at Brock, the weather didn't help. I had zero motivation, zero intention, and even less drive. In hindsight, I can see that it was mass discouragement, but I guess subconsciously I knew that those classes weren't what I should've been doing anyways. My program wasn't for me. It wasn't the road I was supposed to be on. 

April - The school year ended, and I had succeeded in failing every one of my classes. Apparently that's what happens when you don't go...who knew? In the midst of not going, seeing no direction for my life, I managed to fall into a dark cloud. I didn't get out of bed, unless I had to go to work,  and even then, I called in often. 

May - It hit me that there was nothing else I could do. I was a mess, I was making very few choices, and most of those were bad ones. I had hit the bottom. The only way was up. 

After much thought, prayer, and talking with my parents. I decided to pursue social work. The career path I should've been following all along. Reroute.

June - I decided to, in nothing but pure faith, apply to work for Freedom House again, remembering last summer how I didn't feel like it was to be my only summer on staff. It wouldn't be such a huge leap of faith if it had been for the funding that FH receives is only for students returning to full time studies. Of which, at the point, was super up in the air for me. But I had do my part, and I believed it was where, for the one of the few times in my life, where I was supposed to be going. 

July - Worked full time for Freedom House as the Community Events Coordinator, applied to Starbucks, increasingly worked less and less at Metro. Turn right.

August - Got hired by Starbucks, still working full time for Freedom House, should've heard back about my college application by this point... still nothing. Keep traveling.

September - Finished working at Freedom House, working full time for Starbucks (and love love loving it), started volunteering for the city's Community Events Coordinator as her assistant (love love love that as well), applied to a part-time Program Instructor position with the city, was accepted by Mohawk... 

Today marks the start of October, I have an interview for the city position I applied for, I have until Friday at midnight to confirm or defer my offer from Mohawk, I leave for LA in 18 days, and I couldn't be more excited! (the details about that one are to follow)

If I were to say I knew what was next, I'd be lying, but I know there's a plan for my life. I can confidently say that I know I'm on the right road now, heading the right direction. I understand that doesn't mean there wont be road blocks, stop signs, some approaching with caution, and what's a road without a few speed bumps...but I know I have a killer destiny, and I can't wait to keep finding out what it is.

 In 200 meters turn left...